Wilder by Far

A look at life with the Wilder family. Updated most weekends and some vacation days. You can contact me at movingnorth@gmail.com..

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Saturday, July 23, 2005

Interview with a Vampire Blogger

Above is a picture of a polar bear, or "nanook." As far as I know there are no bi-polar bears in Alaska. One can see that the polar bear in his natural habitat, his den. Nice wood paneling.

I don't know about you, but I don't have an oil painting of me in my den.This particular bear must be a narcissist.

The only other question I have is how exactly this bear successfully invited seals over to chat. It's like me inviting a group of Snickers bars over to my place to "just talk." Oh, sure, there'd be chit-chat to start the evening, but it can end only one way - I'd rip the hides off of each Snickers bar (regardless of the screaming) and enjoy myself as their chocolate and caramel melted in my mouth and dripped down my chin.

But, this post is really not about bears, it's about narcissism. My narcissism.

I got an e-mail the other day from a local reporter. I'll excerpt the relevant portion below.

My name's (removed, because I didn't ask for permission) and I work at (a local paper, not that there's a link to it or anything on the left side of the page). I saw your blog through a link on a co-worker's site (not that there's a link to it or anything on the left side of the page) and am I interested in writing a profile of a local blogger for Monday's paper.

If you are interested, could you get back to me today? I'd like to set up an interview for this weekend. Also, I would need your permission to print excerpts from the site and I would need to get one of our staff photographers to take your picture.

I look forward to hearing from you!
So, I saw this and I was thrilled. Alas, the message came in Friday, and I couldn't get back to the reporter in time, and I was not included in the story that ran. However, more important than being in the article to me was the idea:

Someone wanted to interview me? And it wasn't the TSA 'cause I was acting suspicious? I really don't think the New York Times would call me if I had "Blog from Brooklyn," so I realized that this is an artifact of living in a small population - the kind of thing that happens in Mayberry because Andy Taylor knows everyone.

Even though I missed deadline, I've decided to go with an interview anyway. Interviewers might ask difficult questions of me. I won't.

So, here it is:

Fake Interviewer: So, what got you interested in blogging?

John Wilder: I think it was the money, at first. Then it was the parties with Robert Downey Jr. After a while, though, the glamour wears off, when you wake up in a vat of cream with Winona Ryder, not knowing how you got there, you see the seamy side of fame. That's why I moved to Alaska. You know, keep it real.

FI: How long have you been blogging?

JW: Since about age eight, though then we called it "passing notes in class."

FI: So, do you feel writing an entry about your blog, in your blog, is somewhat ego-driven?

JW: Yes. (laughing) I would never do that.

FI: Is your family supportive of your blogging?

JW: If by supportive you mean "The Mrs. hasn't packed up her bags and moved back to Nebraska," then yes.

FI: The Mrs. is from Nebraska?

JW: No.

FI: So, what aspirations do you have for your blog?

JW: I want it to win the Indy 500.

FI: It's not a car.

JW: Don't trample my dreams!

I think it would go downhill from there. They'd want a picture, and then I'd throw them out after they refused to give me a gift bag worth a few thousand dollars, and I'd go into a corner and sulk with Elton John and Paul McCartney.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the call! Great interview btw. I'll get emails from writers and feel like I'm doing their research for them and never hear from them again. Except for one on monster.com about trucking.

3:33 PM  
Blogger Coldfoot said...

Never, never underestimate the power of the Daily Nose-Miner to get your quotes all wrong.

Hold out for an interview in the weekly, free classified paper. The journalist there doesn't get paid as much, I am sure, but does a better job of getting it right.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Woofwoof said...

Be sure to mention your great supporting cast. It should be as long as an Academy Award thank-you list. And include the ones who post witty comments (and those who don't).

7:34 PM  
Blogger prying1 said...

I could relate to all of this post except the beginning part about the bear. (I did want to move to Alaska once but never got a round tuit.)

Then the part about the interview. I can relate to that almost cause at 13 yrs. old I stuffed free drawing coupons in boxes all over town. I Won a TV set and got my picture in the paper along with my address which gave a clue to the thieves that came by and stole the new TV I won along with our old one but the paper really didn't interview me so I guess that didn't count either.

BUT the talking to an imaginary interviewer I can really relate to because all the voices in my head have been much nicer to me lately until I get snippy with them and then the conversation goes downhill from there too.

Thanks for helping me to realize my voices and I are not alone in this world.

8:05 PM  
Blogger Garry Nixon said...

That wee seal in the foreground is very troubled, isn't he?

2:29 AM  
Blogger the Witch said...

Very funny post, John.

I have a friend who's blog was written up in a local glossy (New York Magazine) - things got weird after, she deleted the blog.

Good thing there are no off-colored folks out there in Alaska...

5:01 AM  
Blogger Dillon said...

John, don't be so surprised that the News-Miner would want to profile you. Your site is one of the funnies and best written in the area. If you didn't respond yet, you might want to because I'm sure we'll do another blogger profile in the future. Keep it up.

10:14 AM  
Blogger John said...

Wayne, thank you. Most e-mails I get are about getting free cable, though.

Coldfoot, as far as innacurate reporting goes, I claim dibs on making things up.

Woof, you get the witty side. No more horse stories, though. PLEASE!

Prying, *love* the TV story. Voices in my head . . . voices in my head . . .

Garry, the seal is only missing some mayo and some bread.

Witch, see, that's what I mean. If a blogger from NYC (Talkin' bout the blogger from New York City - now I'll be an hour getting that song out of my head, at least it stills the voices) gets a write-up, wow. Of course you're right, the stalkers.

Dillon, many thanks.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Lady Luck said...

A million laughs you have allowed me when I could be working! I have tears!

The analogy of you and the snickers vs. the polar bears and the seals...Priceless.

Loved the interview with yourself!

12:51 PM  

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