Wilder by Far

A look at life with the Wilder family. Updated most weekends and some vacation days. You can contact me at movingnorth@gmail.com..

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Saturday, July 09, 2005

Paris (Hilton) is Burning, or, Legal Eagles

Okay, I'll admit that the above picture is not really a cool Paris Hilton paparazzi shot despite how much it does look like her. It's really an ancient musk ox skull at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks Museum.

Went to the museum, but I think it would have been better if we'd have gone when we first moved here. So much of what they have there is geared towards visitors, and we live here. There's a stuffed grizzly bear, stuffed wolves, and stuffed polar bear. I'll let you in on a little secret: every Alaskan has six or eight stuffed grizzly bears in the garage. We put them out in the summer to scare tourists.

Now the UAF museum did have a mastodon skull (pictured below) which was nice, and huge.

I don't know about you, but I'd think three or four times about hunting a critter like that with a sharp stick. My dad says he took one of these down using only a roll of dental floss and the wrapper from a stick of chewing gum. I'm not sure I believe him, since he also says he fought some group called the "Nazis" during something called "World War II." He tends to make up stories.

In general, the exterior of the museum building was an unconstructed blob of mostly unrelated materials, stuck together any which way - there is exposed framing on the outside. The inside was nice and you can see that when they finally reach completion, the museum will double in size. This will either double the size of the aisles or allow double the number of stuffed bears (I think that would be 16 stuffed bears, if they go the 'double bears' route).

Part of the problem with the museum project is that the contractors and the University are fighting back and forth about who owes who money. So, a construction project that normally would have been long done has been dragging out forever. Now the lawyers are involved. I don't know about your experience, but lawyers do worse drywall work than, well, drywall guys.

Given the lawyers I saw milling about outside, the project might last forever. Lawyers don't work very hard, they're dangerous to have around children (I assume that's why they have the fence around the construction area), and if they work eight hours, they bill sixteen. Note to all parties involved: lawyers are a sign of construction gone bad. I see very few lawyers around my home projects, since mainly I'd have to sue myself for shoddy construction and late completion. Then I'd have to countersue for non-payment of me. Then, alas, I'd have no beer money, since the lawyers would have used the money for membership dues in the "League of Evil Lawyers."

Lessons for today:
1. Paris Hilton, though looking like a skeletal musk-ox, is not a skeletal musk-ox. I think
2. Mastodon were huge. Much bigger than my dog.
3. Lawyers steal beer money and are crappy at installing siding or HVAC.


Blogger Coldfoot said...

That does kind of look like Paris Hilton with a mud-facial.

Part of the reason that lawyer are involved is that the ravens are eating the material used to hold the building materials together.

Everyone wants someone else to pay for the repairs.

No one is practical enough to start shooting ravens.

2:38 AM  

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