“Lister, you left £17.50 in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest, you now own 98% of all the world's wealth.” – Holly, Red Dwarf

The Boy, bouncing on the trampoline. He's moving faster than the speed of light. Or the flash wasn't on. Pick one.

Me: “Are you happy because you’re jumping, or jumping because you’re happy?”
Bounce-Bounce-Bounce
The Boy: “Happy” Bounce “because I’m” Bounce “bouncing!”

I waited a minute or two.

Me: “Are you happy because you’re jumping, or jumping because you’re happy?”
Bounce-Bounce-Bounce
The Boy: “Bouncing” Bounce “because I’m” Bounce “happy!”

I guess it’s like Paris Hilton (tramp) and fame. People are interested in Paris Hilton (tramp) because she’s famous. But, she’s famous because people are interested in her. It’s a loop. Oh, and that video (tramp).

This story, though, starts twenty-six years in the past.

I was with my parents. My brother was safely away somewhere. I was dragged along with my parents to a dinner. The nice people fed us, and (I think) gave Mom and Dad a glass of wine or two. I don’t remember dinner as being all that great. Then the sales pitch hit. The nice family indicated that you could lose weight by doing nothing more than jumping on a trampoline. Mom (who was, umm, sturdy and low to the ground, you know, hard to push over) liked this idea. Plus, there was the wine. At the end of the evening they had ordered the trampoline shown above. They also got a book.

For this stunning piece of technology, they paid . . . $400. $400 American dollars. In 1980. I did the math, and had Dad invested this money in an IRA in 1980, he would have $2958.54, if he only made 8% on it. Inflation adjusted, that same $400 is worth . . . $983.01 American dollars today. Doesn’t that make you feel good about inflation?

By the way, bouncing won’t make you skinny, if you were wondering.

After Mom passed away (long time ago) I ended up with the trampoline. It’s made a journey all across the country, and now serves (primarily) as a winter entertainment device for The Boy. Despite our shortcomings as parents, even we aren’t heartless enough to send him out to play at -55ºF, but, being a boy, The Boy has to move around constantly to exorcise (exercise) the demons of youth from his tiny frame (as I write this he’s licking some plastic wrap to glean the remnants of the granulated sugar that once graced a scone – I promise, we feed him, but the motor requires constant fuel – now he’s downing Frosted Cheerios®).

Don’t worry. He’s skinny, and it doesn’t have much to do with the trampoline.

If you’re wondering about the ad below, I got a request from the film company that’s putting the movie out to put it up. (This really happened). It Waits is from Stephen Cannell. I know, I know, he did Knight Rider. But, he also did Baa, Baa Black Sheep. Plus, they’re going to send me a copy of the film on DVD. Like I keep telling the world . . . I can be bought . . . do you hear that, John Deere, Husqvarna?