"You're right. No human would stack books that way." - Venkman, Ghostbusters

The Boy and I find it best to watch scary things with a Scooby blanket, even in summer. That way you can pull it over your head if something scary happens.

The Boy is interested in two things above all else: home improvement (he gets his household remodeling techniques via the DIY™ network) and ghosts. Ghosts he gets from his favorite show: Ghosthunters®(LINK) on the Sci-Fi© network.

If you haven’t seen Ghosthunters©, it’s a show where two plumbers that work for Roto-Rooter® go out and hunt for ghosts. I am not making this up. They have a team of (fairly) irascible fellow ghost seekers that form the core of The Atlantic Paranormal Society (T.A.P.S.©), which makes inventive use of the “The” in the name. If only The United Nations had the acronym T.U.N., then I think it would be more popular, but only if it were composed of plumbers from every nation in the world. And would be better if T.U.N. hunted ghosts, instead of putting Cuba on the human rights committee. When you think about it, putting Cuba on anything with the words “human rights” attached to it is similar to putting Paris Hilton in charge of The Righteous And Meek People Society (T.R.A.M.P.S.). Hmm, strangely, that fits.

Anyhow, we were talking about ghosts. The Ghosthunters® use a variety of high-tech gear bound to excite the inner geek in any six year old. They have:

• Infra-red cameras, which pick up heat radiation instead of visible light,
• Pez® dispensers, which hold sweet, sweet Pez®,
• Remote video cameras and microphones,
• More computers than Cuba, and,
• Cool shirts and hats that say T.A.P.S.© and make them look like they’re on a drug raid.

And, when I really think about it, I’d love to have my own infra-red camera, too so I could just walk around all day staring at cups of hot coffee through it. “Ohhh, pretty colors.” I even checked out how much they cost on teh Intratube a year or so ago, and decided I could just drink the coffee, instead of shelling out the $10,000 for a costly device, that, while neat, could dispense no Pez®.

The plumbers Ghosthunters® search around, and, mainly find vague camera malfunctions and the occasional thud. They listen to the accumulated audio with the keen ear of someone listening to every ABBA© album backwards looking for proof that ABBA™ encoded The Secret Swedish Death Star© plans in “Dancing Queen”. (Full disclosure – I’m not sure I trust the Swedes – I think they’re hiding something, otherwise they’d speak English.)

In additional full disclosure, I must also admit to liking the show myself. Sure, it’s hokey, but it’s fun to watch. The Boy, however, sees no hoke. The Boy laps up all the technology, all the faint squeaks that become potential “evidence” for a ghost.

Not that the Ghosthunters™ have any vested interest in finding ghosts, not with ratings, the lucrative merchandising, the Ghosthunters© magazine, and the whole “having to go back to plumbing forty hours a week instead of having a pretty sweet TV gig” at stake. No. Certainly they’re nothing but the height of true dispassionate scientific skeptics. Fortunately, they find a ghost nearly every episode. Who’d have thought that possible?

As I said, The Boy has yet to have his bubble burst. He may have doubts about the Tooth Fairy® (I never bought that one, myself) and Santa© is on the bubble, but, by golly, ghosts are real. The Ghosthunters® find them, don’t they?

Okay, final disclosure. I was typing away in Word© on my Winders 98 (Southern Edition) and the first time I typed “ghost” the system went beyond blue screen of death, and straight to a grid pattern of dots on the screen. I had to reboot and start writing again, from scratch.

Perhap, just perhaps, this is evidence of a paranormal event taking place inside my eight-year-old computer running nine-year-old software.

Must be. Think of the ratings.