"Note to self: never vacation on an active volcano." - Crooow, MST3K

 

The cats. On vacation. Is there a better place for that than a basket of warm clothes? Didn’t think so.

What I Did On My Spring Break
By
The Boy

This Spring Break was good and it wasn’t. The good parts were when The Dad and The Mom took me and Pugsley down to see Grandma and Grandpa. We had fun. I got to shoot a BB gun and didn’t put my eye out! The Dad yelled at me when I pointed it at him. Parents are funny sometimes. I like the way his face gets all red when he yells.

Grandpa made cookies, which I ate. They were very good. Grandma and Grandpa are nice, because they listen to us, even Pugsley, who mainly just grunts and stuff. When you write on Grandma’s wall, you don’t have to stand in a corner. And Pugsley and I ate ALL the cookies and nobody said a thing.

We ate at fast food places, which The Dad usually complains about. When we travel, though, it’s easier to get a Happy Meal™, since he doesn’t say “there’s water at home, if you’re thirsty.” I get tired of that.

Bathroom stops are the bad side. The Dad says that “nobody has died in the continental United States of a ruptured bladder because of a car trip since 1932.” I think he’s making that up. The Mom then tells The Dad to stop the car, and when The Mom says it, well, that’s what we do.

We came home, and then the family got to work!

We painted the kitchen, and then The Dad decided to power wash outside. I asked if I could run the power washer, and The Dad said, “OK.” He didn’t tell me that once I started (it was fun at first) that I’d have to power wash all the driveway. It gets boring after a while. At first I pretended I was a Jedi™ but there are only so many times you can blast Darth Vader™ before you get kinda bored.

I helped paint the hall, too! We painted the hall, and I got to use a brush, even though I wanted to use the roller. The Dad got upset (red face again!) when he figured out that the paint he bought was “semi-gross” and what he really needed was made of eggshells. I think. Anyhow, he and The Mom decided to just buy more paint and finish it up with semi-gross.

This morning The Mom said we were “spring cleaning.” The Dad said he’d go finish up something instead of working in the front room, and The Mom said no way – you helped make this mess and you’re going to help clean it up. That’s just what The Dad did!

Oh, yeah, on Saturday I ate half a bag of cookies instead of dinner. Boy, was The Mom angry when she found out! I think I need to hide the bag better next time.

I read like six books this spring break. It’s a lot better than listening to the boring radio that The Mom and The Dad listen to. I get to read about Harry Potter™, while they listen to stuff about the economy, whatever that is. It sure sounds like it’s not good. Maybe all the adults need more cookies. Cookies sure work for me when I’m sad.

We went swimming! The Dad and The Mom were cleaning the pool and I said I wanted to get in. They looked at me like I was crazy, but I went and put on my trunks and came back out. It was great. Pugsley got in, too! He can’t swim and The Dad told The Mom that she’d have to get Pugsley if he slipped out of his swim ring, because he didn’t want to get his wallet wet. The Mom didn’t look real happy about that.

This was a good spring break.

OK. I’m done now.