Wilder by Far

A look at life with the Wilder family. Updated most weekends and some vacation days. You can contact me at movingnorth@gmail.com..

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Location: United States

Sunday, December 28, 2008

"I see you have constructed a new light saber. Your skills are complete." - Darth Vader, Return of the Jedi


Can you fit an electric Arctic Cat® PowerWheels™ into the back of a family sedan? Only if you take the car for dinner and dancing first.

Christmas has come and gone again, but that’s because we have time. Time is the thing that makes sure that everything doesn’t happen all at once, and also the thing that makes sure that your beer goes flat if you don’t drink it within some reasonable time period. The best definition I ever read of time is the “measure of increase in entropy of a system”, which, if applied to the wrapping paper on a Christmas present is quite a measure. Entropy, of course, is the measure of increase of disorder of a system, i.e., a group of tiny cats, when you shake them up in a bag and then pour them on the floor will go every which way. From a true physics standpoint this isn’t good experimental design, but it’s just fun to grab a bag of small cats, shake them, and then drop them on the floor. The sight of small cats running in terror from the gigantic beast that encased them in burlap and then vigorously shook them puts me, for one, into the holiday spirit.

If The Boy and Pugsley had their way, it would be Christmas everyday. Of course it would. They’re eight and three, and don’t realize that it’s far more fun to go to work and slave away for hours at a time. Don’t worry, Internet, they’ll eventually get there.

Our family is a “Christmas Eve” present opening family. It tends to lead toward a more relaxed Christmas Day, not to mention that the little dears get so excited about the presents that they got the day before that they don’t get up at 3:42AM to see what Santa brought. If you’ve had any wine at all, you can see what sense this makes.

I don’t know about your house, but Santa definitely leaves very little at ours, the cheap elf that he is. Most (if not all) of the really good presents come from Mom, Dad, and the Grandparents. Santa might bring a few doo-dads; an orange, perhaps a toothbrush, but nothing really, really fun. Santa (at least at our house) seems somewhat overly obsessed with hygiene.

Anyhow, Christmas Eve brought a celebration of the Geek. Each boy (including yours truly) received a brand spanking new Light Saber® (these are the really cool ones with the polycarbonate blades that make the appropriate sounds when we turn them on and smack them together), with which we battle continuously, if somewhat inconclusively. I was unsure that a three year old would be a good owner of a Light Saber©. So was The Mrs. It turns out Pugsley is as giddy as a kitten with poo to cover to have one.

The Boy was likewise happy with his presents. “You didn’t get me crap like you usually do.”

He stammered a bit, even at eight realizing that this was a slightly impolitic statement to make. “Umm, I mean I really like that stuff you got me last year, but I just don’t know where it is.”

Eight is a big year for Legos® and he has a bundle of them. Already he’s made several improbable-looking Jedi© moving contraptions that he loves. Like Pugsley, The Boy will at a moment’s notice, attack me with his Light Saber™. Thankfully, I spend most of my time working on my relationship with the Dark Side® of The Force©.

Pugsley? He just rides on his bouncy horse when he’s bored. (Let me tell you, putting that thing together was an exercise in the near-grotesque-the horse came headless, and no small number of Godfather™ jokes were made in putting it together.)

The Mrs.? Oh, she told me exactly what she wanted. Through a small bit of luck, even though what she wanted was definitely a special order item, it just happened to be available.

So, a merry Christmas was had by all.

Now if I only had a bag of small cats to shake . . . .
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Blogger Jeffro said...

I've noticed that larger cats are far more available to bag, shake and release, but one's chances of injury are far greater.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

Merry Christmas (belated) and Happy New Year to you and the Mrs. (and the boys of course)

7:22 AM  
Blogger SusanE said...

Happy New Year.

We arrived back in Canada after 6 weeks in Arizona. It's -30C (somewhere around -364F). I bet you miss Alaska, I heard it was -38C in Whitehorse (-425F)

5:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess growing up in Wyoming messed me up, I thought you were supposed to light the bag on fire and put it on someone's doorstep. Then ring the bell and run. That seems like a better method to attain a higher state of entropy, just don't let the parents catch you (heh heh).

11:14 AM  
Blogger Dame Koldfoot said...

It was a Star Wars Christmas at Coldfoot Manor as well. Girl No. 1 got a light saber and a Luke Skywalker Transformer. She was hoping for the 4 zillion piece Star Wars Lego set from our local MegaMart, but we needed a government bailout in order to afford it. Congress is still considering whether it can find (or print) more money for a bailout of the Christmas spending industry. Until that time, Girl No. 1 will loose her home and go on food stamps.

Girl No. 2 scored with a bunch of girly animal stuff. They both got the obligatory robes, slippers, PJs and books.

We are going to brave the -50F (-254C) to spend gift cards tomorrow. Girl 2 is dying for a Nintendo DS. We are not sure about her spending all of her Santa bucks. or the bailout fund if they get approved in a last minute hearing, on something that can get dropped, stepped on, flushed or left in the blackhole of toys that is Coldie's car. Do you think welding a ball and chain to it will damage the game unit?

9:14 AM  
Blogger John said...

Yes, but you can fit many, many tiny cats in the same size bag. And if you put on your welder gear, the chance of a nasty scratch is minimal.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Nice to hear from you. All well out your direction?

I MOWED MY LAWN IN SHORTS TODAY. AM I HAPPY ABOUT THAT? No. We do. Much. Much. Best thing about the North? The people.

Ohhh, smash the cats first. Messy, that.

Dame Koldfoot,
We need to get those three (The Boy, Girl No. 1, and Pugsley) together for a rootin' tootin' Jedi massacre.

Yea Girl No. 2! We need that as well!

Spend the gift cards quickly, unless you think you have enough so that the Fed will consider you a bank and give you Bailout dollars!!

No problem with that welding thing. I've got a welder. You just need to come on down. Better yet, we just NEED to come on up.

6:52 PM  

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