"Have you ever been on a wood hauling trip shrimp boat?" - Bubba, Forrest Gump
Winter, coming soon to an Alaska near you. First frost was this week.
I was two sentences into Sunday’s edition of Life in Alaska. The Mrs., ever attentive, asked what I was going to write about.
“Well,” I said, “This is a pivotal weekend. We now have enough wood that I’m pretty sure that we can get through the winter on our supply.”
The Mrs.: “You’re going to write about wood, again? John, that’s a bit nuts. I know you’re obsessed, but perhaps that’s the reason that your website dropped 0.02% behind google.com last week as the most popular website ever. Perhaps people are just sick and tired of reading about wood.”
I pondered this. I thought, perhaps, just perhaps, that The Mrs. was right, and I was turning into Bubba from Forrest Gump. She generally is. You remember Bubba, right? Here’s my version:
“You’ve got birch saplings, fresh cut birch, cured birch, split birch...“Instead of writing about wood again, perhaps I could give a bit of insight into the psyche of the average Alaskan, edify and delineate the juxtaposing paradoxes that are Alaska.
“You’ve got birch stump, birch branches, aspen wood, blocked aspen, green aspen...”It almost spawned a fistfight, and now my neighbors have taken up positions around the cabin making sure that I never leave again, at least until the riots in downtown Fairbanks finish up. They think that they’ve got me surrounded and cut off from outside contact. I fooled them. I’ve got wireless Internet.
“You’ve got spruce boughs, knotty spruce, dry spruce, black spruce...”So, I sit here, and realize that yes, as usual The Mrs. is right. Perhaps I should write about something other than wood. It does make me a bit one-dimensional.
“You’ve got spruce branches, spruce needles, pine cones...”Yes, letting the Fairbanks riots of ’06 calm down is probably the best course. Perhaps I could write next week about
“You’ve got gas chainsaws, electric chainsaws, log milling machines...”As The Mrs. says, “Quit being so darn obsessed with the wood.”
“And that’s... that’s all I know about wood.”
posted by John | 9:31 PM
13 Comments:
Congrats on cutting enough to make it. I thought that picture you posted was from last winter. It's still 90 here.
I staggered into your blog the other night and spent to many hours reading about wood.
Keep up the awesome writing.
I like wood. I even checked "gathering wood" on google as you mentioned and was surprised at the results.
If you are in the big city in Ontario Canada, being obsessed with wood would mean something totally different.
You should be thankful Mrs isn't obsessed with wood.
Or maybe she is....then woopy for you!
Wood can be something people get obsessed about. Like when you camp in CA and aren't allowed to burn the natural stuff, so you have to go buy the 4 pieces from the ranger for $10. And as stated earlier, there are other wood meanings, but that talk will just get me in trouble.
God I hate California. $2.50 for a piece of wood. P.S. John I leave on 9-12 for Kenai, and my buddy Gabe is moving to Fairbanks the same day. You'll have to drink beer with him. He loves to cut firewood by the way.
Um - don't you kinda need wood to survive the winter?
Perhaps a necessary obsession...
In other news, this Witch is taking her young warlock on Alaskan cruise next summer. I'd like to apologize in advance.
_/\_
Ummm, duckhunter...I'm pretty sure that picture was from last winter...even in Alaska frost doesn't fall from the sky in pretty flakes...at least I think so...it will be my first Alaskan winter:-)
Hear George Lucas and Bill Gates were in town for the Susan Butcher memorial. Celebrities in Fairbanks galore! Can't wait to see if they make the next post.
Winter is approaching here too. Yesterday it dropped below 80F. Brrrr. But not many people beavering away trying to gather wood.
WOW! You guys are really on top of things - have all your wood already? Is that even possible? I've yet to have wood that will last all winter.
On top of that, I haven't even STARTED getting wood yet. But I do have a brand new wood stove that I've been trying out with the last few crappy pieces of wood I do have left... and it's awesome!!!! Wow, a stove that burns for more than 3 hrs... what a concept...
duck,
It's a big job. It is from last winter, no snow yet, but anytime is reasonable and usual. This particular picture I'm going to post if Hillary Clinton is ever elected president, though I need some background flames.
tiffany,
Thank you! You made (really) my day.
susane,
Wow! Who knew they were even making dolls gather wood. Monsters!
lynn,
I'm guessing that's correct. I've had more than one hit from a thirteen-year-old on "getting wood."
As to The Mrs., well, wood is good.
GIHC,
$2.50 for a piece of wood? Criminy.
Come to Alaska. It's free (mostly).
the witch,
Nah, you could do electric or oil heat, but that runs to $$, plus wood is the only way to get warm.
Yay! The warlock will enjoy. E-mail me when it gets closer and I'll give a tip or two!
suess,
Only the wrath of The Mrs. falls in big flakes. Avoid the wrath of The Mrs.
jill,
The Mrs. picked up the paper and said, "Holy cow, that looks like George Lucas. Holy cow, that is George Lucas." Little did she know we'd been drinking all night in the basement. That George, he's a party animal, and not an Ewok. More Chewbacca.
woof,
Wow! You've got, what, 24321 more months to gather wood.
dogsled_stacie,
All done, because it's less than thirty days and counting for us to finish. Mmmmm wood heat.
I worry John...are you sure you guys have enough wood?
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