Wilder by Far

A look at life with the Wilder family. Updated most weekends and some vacation days. You can contact me at movingnorth@gmail.com..

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

"You spend your time thinking about death, like you're going to get killed by eggs, beef, global warming or asteroids." -The Dr., Doctor Who


This moose posed for pictures last March, but only because she was young and needed the money.

The start of August (hot as it’s been – almost up to 80ºF today) marks the start of the end (or the end of the start of the end, or perhaps even the start of the end of the middle) of summer in Fairbanks. In 45 days the normal low will be below freezing. I expect that the horrific ravages of global warming might push the first freeze in Fairbanks back by minutes, or maybe even hours. This scourge must stop. If continued unabated, we might be caught unaware as the sea level rises by an inch or two over the course of centuries and forget to take two steps back! Global warming is nearly as scary as SARS or bird flu.

As it is, we’re down to only 21 hours and 12 minutes of visible light during a day. On occasion I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and see that it’s nearly as dim as Keanu Reeves outside. In a month or so we’ll even be able to see the stars again. I call this phenomena Global Darkening and at seven minutes less daylight each and every day, by next year we’ll have negative daylight. I can’t even imagine the consequences of that.

In the morning, it’s been as chilly as the audience reaction to a Mel Gibson speech at a bar mitzvah. I was especially chilly this morning since my eyelids were frozen to, well, whatever it is that an eyelid connects with when they’re closed, since I don’t think the bottom part is technically an eyelid. Is it the eyelid holder?

Anyway, The Boy has taken to opening the bedroom window during the day. Since the window is behind a set of blinds, I didn’t really notice that the window was letting in the cold air until my dog’s tongue stuck to my hand when it licked me in the middle of the night. It was a bit embarrassing for both of us.

I speculate that this “leaving the window open” is a gift from The Boy to thank The Mrs. and I for having The Boy spend time in the corner, but, as I said, that’s speculation. At about 4AM when the thermometer starts to drop, it doesn’t really matter. The fact that The Boy keeps trying to convince me that “butter is better for you than lettuce,” and “exercise is for sissies” tends to bolster the whole revenge thing.

After the chilly start this morning I looked out to see that it was about 40ºF outside, so I could estimate that it was about 40.00005ºF in the bedroom. The Mrs. has a natural protective metabolic mechanism that allows her to survive at subzero bedroom temperatures while sleeping, something she calls an electric heating pad. Being from the lesser-evolved and smellier gender, I simply shiver in my sleep.

The nice thing about getting up in a chilly house is that you don’t tarry getting dressed. It took me about three seconds to become fully clothed. I moved last night’s load of laundry from the washer into the dryer, and noticed that the dryer vent kicked out a nice plume of steam into the morning air.

An additional indicator of the impending change in temperature is that some of the weeds that I pretend are a lawn have started to turn a deathly straw-yellow. Since the other weeds that comprise my lawn are a bit hardier, this gives a nice Salvador Dali-feel to the lawn.

It’s the calm before winter, and only a month or two remain to get all of the work done I need to do outside. Beyond the long days and pleasant temperatures lies the lurking, looming, lingering threat of the dark winter and -55ºF temperatures. Something tells me I’d notice if The Boy left the window wide open then. He’ll have to think of something new.

5 Comments:

Blogger Woofwoof said...

You have Keanu Reeves outside? Better lock the doors, and close the windows.

8:31 PM  
Blogger Lynn said...

I can never get my mind around the idea of midnight sun.
I remember going up to James Bay and having daylight till after 10:00PM, but my little head just can't imagine the 2AM pee in daylight or dusklight.
I'd probably wake up every night and want to go on the computer or somethin'.

9:03 AM  
Blogger A Public Defender's Life in Alaska said...

Well I pulled the trigger John. Coming up to Kenai in September. Living in a 24x24 shack with my wife and kid and 4 dogs until the house in California sells. Ah, the dark, cold winter....I think the ole blog is going to get interesting real soon.

9:20 AM  
Blogger John said...

woof,
We keep Keanu outside. Whoa. Dude.

lynn,
You just described what The Mrs. does. I'm waiting for winter, when she can sleep again.

gihc,
24x24 isn't really a shack . . . crowded, but not a shack. Welcome home.

8:06 PM  
Anonymous Al said...

I realise you have have lots of chores to do John before the summer disappears, but if you have any duct tape lying around would you mind wrapping some round the leaky BP oil pipeline please in your neck of the woods.

Petrol prices here in the UK are crazy enough as it is at 99p a litre, this pipeline shutdown will be just the excuse the greedy oil companies need to poke their fingers in our eyes even harder...

Cheers Al {a couple of miles away from Pig Sty Avenue)

3:59 PM  

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