Wilder by Far

A look at life with the Wilder family. Updated most weekends and some vacation days. You can contact me at movingnorth@gmail.com..

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Monday, May 07, 2007

"Can't sleep, clown will eat me. Can't sleep, clown will eat me." - Bart, The Simpsons

Wilder Note: I've got a crazy idea. I've been drinking working like a dog to write these posts. And, I've got 300 stashed away. I'm thinking that I could post every day and polish up some of the old crap gems and maybe even make them funnier when viewed in perspective. Think of it as sort of a Gilligan's Island of blogging. I know I don't go back into the archives much, so, I imagine you don't, either. If this stuff is new to you, well, it gives you five times as much Wilder By Far for your money.

This also lets me get my old posts slowly moved over to my computer in a manageable format for longer-term storage (I did my initial work on Blogger, not on Word, so I don't have a copy on my computer). /crazy idea.

NEW posts will still appear every Sunday night/Wednesday Night.

I'll give this a try, and if it works, keep going, unless I get lazy.

Note: This post dates back to 5/11/05, which is 11/5/05 for the Europeans, and 6/23/9345 for all of you Zoroaster worshipers. Also, note - WE DID NOT MOVE BACK - this is a repeat!


The dark in winter is easy to get along with in Fairbanks. Throw down another beer and put another log on the fire, cozy up with a good book. I'm used to nights. I am not yet used to looking out the window at midnight and seeing the sun not yet down. I am not yet used to waking up a 4am and seeing the start of a bright new day.

Since we just moved into the place, there's a lot to do. You see, the last owner of the house was Jabba the Hut. For example:
  • Somebody removed downstairs drywall - with a hammer. By smashing it.
  • The bathroom door handle was about to fall off, because Jabba had never bothered to tighten the screws.
  • All the trim was ripped off of downstairs.
  • Exterior insulation was ripped off, for no apparent reason.
  • The kitchen faucet leaked - incessantly.
  • None of the windows open well.
  • The slaves and droids are pesky and need constant feeding and maintenance.
  • There's a statue of some guy made of carbonite.
  • The lawn is the size of Rhode Island. I feel it looming as it starts to turn green. I would like to get goats or some grazing-type critter, so I could be lazy and not mow, but I think the bears would eat them.
I think you get my point, there's a lot of work to be done. I'm not complaining, the condition of this place allowed us to afford it. Plus, there's a monster in the basement that we can use for Jedi control. (They get thick up here in summer.)

This summer I've got to refinish the basement, figure out some sort of heat source for down there (unless we wanted to refilm Rocky and use it as a meat locker), redo the roof, and bring home 7-10 cords of wood. Oh, and I've got to build bookcases and unpack my books, games, and etc. Plus, there's a new baby.

Don't get me wrong - I like picking up the old power tools and cutting off various body appendages as I refinish drywall poorly. Keeps the hospital in business, and gives the next owner something to laugh about.

My problem is the Sun. Darn thing rises in the Northeast, sets in the Northwest. Soon it'll be doing a complete circle above us. I think the sun only actually sets for a few days in June. Up North, in Barrow, the sun's now up. Until August.

Since the sun is always up now, you get the darkness clue to get tired, so you keep working until all hours of the night until you realize - holy crap - it's 1AM and I should be asleep. Duplicate this day after day for a week, drinking copious amounts of coffee to jump start the brain. On the seventh day, sleep for 14 hours because you're exhausted. Repeat.

The Mrs. is exhausted, too. We brought The New Boy home. Slept through the night the first night.

I mean me, I slept through the night. All four hours of it.

The Mrs. was up like a million times with The New Boy, whose primary communication channel appears at this time to consist of random grunts and some sort of wailing noise. Not ready yet for a long discourse on Hooke, Newton, or the Enlightenment worldview. Not ready, even yet, for a substantiative discussion of the implied economic commentary of Joe's not apparently having a job on Blue's Clues and the Cold-War growth of social benefits in American society. Just wants to eat, sometimes.


Blogger Duck Hunter said...

Good Idea, John. I enjoy reading your blog.

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, what a rip off! I thought May was sweeps month. You're supposed to bring out the big guns, not repeats! Keep up the funny stories.

5:43 PM  
Blogger John said...

duck hunter,
We'll see - I'm hoping I don't have to lift as hard as I did with the hockey post all the time. Somebody needed to smack me for that . . . but nobody was reading at that time.

Hey, you knew Gilligan was never getting off that island . . . you'd seen it before. You watched, though, didn't you?

8:57 PM  

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