Wilder by Far

A look at life with the Wilder family. Updated most weekends and some vacation days. You can contact me at movingnorth@gmail.com..

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Location: United States

Friday, September 12, 2008

"Okay, our next nominee is Ike the Genius." - Mr. Garrison, South Park


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The baked goodies section at Tärgét©. Apparently, hurricanes make people crave baked goods, since the bread aisle was also out of stuff – not a bun, roll, or slice of bread in sight. I think that all the Atkins© dieters just went nuts and decided that hurricanes are carbolicious.

I’ve decided to create an experiment as Ike© bears down on Houston. I thought I’d blog until the power or beer ran out, primarily because I want to create a record of this, and I know that the hundreds of billions of people that I claim read this blog would be waiting with bated breath, or, if they were fishermen, baited breath.

The Mrs. and I have been through blizzards, tornadoes, floods, and a full-bore locust invasion. We’ve even had our lives interrupted by a volcano. But never have we experienced a hurricane.

Thankfully, we have plenty of beer, but more on that later.

The latest forecast in my area is that we will have sustained 45-65 MPH winds (6,000-18,000 km/hr), 4”-8” (0.02mm-0.04mm) of rain. I have no idea what mileage my house will get at that speed, but the water sure will make it slippery. Given the nature of a hurricane, I wanted to see what the heck people were doing out there to prepare. I dragged the (very) reluctant The Mrs. and we went out to make some bank payments.

Surprise! The banks are closed. This, my friends is madness – probably the start of a Mad Max sort of existence for us. I think I might begin to hack the Wildermobile apart and install a flame thrower and harpoon gun.

Most businesses were, however, very much open. Home Despot®, probably the most useful store to have open with a hurricane headed our way, was closed. This is quite similar to closing a McBurger in the Box© during lunch hour. No duct tape for me.

Target was open. The main missing items were larger flashlight-type batteries, bread, and beer.

In an unusual twist of fate, Tärgét™ had plenty of my brand, Natural Light© (motto, “It’s beer if we say it’s beer. Besides, it’s cheap.”).

I like Natural Light®. It’s got a crisp, clean taste, and next to no C2H5OH. The Mrs. makes fun of me for that, since two of her Heinekens© are enough to make me silly. I’m a beer lightweight. She makes fun of me for that, too. For some reason, Tärgét™ was selling 30 of the for $2.96. Really.


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Some businesses were boarded up, like this one. Most just left acres of glass uncovered. That would be the same with almost every house in our neighborhood.

We finally went home. On the news, we found out that there was a curfew that would take effect at 7pm tonight, which might preclude our ordering pizza. These hurricanes can be darned inconvenient.

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A defiant business.

As I picked up the things outside that might become 70mph missiles, I ran into our neighbor, Gladys Kravitz. She was in a panic – and told me in no uncertain terms that my house would likely collapse at the nearest hint of wind. After it flooded.

She’s so cheery to have around. As to the flooding part, I actually did check the FEMA maps before I bought the place, and it says it’s more likely that we’ll get a decent Congress than a flood here. But, keep in mind that these are government maps.

Right now, slightly windy.

More later.

3:36 PM Friday update – the city of Houston just announced that they will curl up into a ball and provide no more services (like ambulances, or fire trucks, or police) after the wind hits 30MPH. Guess they’ve never heard of Kansas or Oklahoma where that’s an average day.

3:54 PM Whoopsie-date - the city of Houston, avid readers of Wilder By Far, corrected their statement that they would leave the taxpayers to the wolves at 30MPH windspeed. It's really 50MPH. That makes it all better.

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's hoping you made it through! And that the beer didn't run out...

7:10 AM  
Blogger Dame Koldfoot said...

It looks like Ike wasn't as bad as predicted. Too bad Hurricane Sarah was more than Charlie Gibson could handle.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Aaron the Truck Driver said...

I think i would prefer a hurricane to any other disaster.
At least you know where it is and you get a fair warning.

Do you have power? Did your house get hit by the pebbles? Are there fish on your lawn?

8:12 PM  
Blogger Tiffany said...

We are all waiting to hear back from you! Guess you lost power for a while. Hope you and the family are ok!

3:46 AM  
Blogger John said...

anon,
Smelly, stinky, still have (warm) beer.

dame koldfoot,
Not so bad. More on the hurricane in the next post.

aaron,
We did, more than enough time for a beer run.

More later . . .

tiffany,
All fine. I just dropped a big dime on some shingles, though.

8:48 AM  

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