"Man walk on road. Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk down middle, sooner or later, get squished." - Pat Morita

We decided to go to the Tanana Valley State Fair this weekend.

Admission to the fair was $8.00 per person, which, going in, I thought was a bit steep for what I expected would be a pretty small event. Not the biggest fair I've been to, but I was surprised just how big this one is.

As in all fairs, there were booths of exhibitors. Above is a picture of Mr. Sushi, King of the Fighting Salmon. Mr. Sushi was in residence over the booth of the local Tang Soo Do Karate class. I think the proper word for that would be a Dojo, but for all I know, a Dojo could be like a Ding-Dong or a Ho-Ho. For the record, I did not see Ralph Macchio or Mr. Miyagi, but did meet a very nice guy with salmon pictures all around his booth. I do not know the connection between salmon and Tang Soo Do. Is there something fishy about this martial art?

Perhaps the most fun was watching the placement of the booths. Occasionally, it looked like someone with a sense of humor was doing the layout - the local teachers' union booth was right next to a booth for homeschoolers. I saw no bloodshed, but I did see one of the teachers sharpening a knife. I was really worried that this would be something like you would see in LA when rival street gangs take one another on, but, we moved along quickly. From personal experience I've seen what mad teachers are capable of.

Fortunately, Planned Parenthood was very far away from Right to Life.

The Teacher Union/Homeschooler Booth was right across from the local electrical utility booth, where I won a small electric fan that The Boy is right now playing with, seeing if he can use the flimsy plastic blades to cut apart one of our coffee tables. As of now, he has had no luck. I won said fan by answering a question that described the difference between alternating and direct current. You got to choose your own question, so I did not choose the one, "Who is the CEO of GVEA?" I have no idea. I just write the checks for the juice.

Then there were the actual entries, you know, the other reason the fair exists. Below is a picture of a big paper-mache moose. Now, I don't know about you, but I think this one deserves several different prizes - how the hell do you even transport a big (5' high!) paper-mache moose without having it turn into all sorts of random paper-mache moose parts? I'm fairly certain they didn't transport it in the hatchback of a 1976 Pinto. I'm glad this one won a ribbon, you can see the detail.

Anyway, after taking in all the exhibits (and there was a TON of swag for The Boy, stuff from the Alaska DOT, a button from a local coal mine, and a comic on Smokey Bear from the Forestry Extension Office, etc.), we ventured outside. It was pouring rain - I perhaps was hit by three drops during this cloudburst of Biblical proportions.

We looked at tent after tent, and were rewarded by seeing a local dance school do an interpretative dance to Kashmir. Led Zepplin's Kashmir. Somehow, the dance involved a guy in a mask trotting around various young females, and putting black blankets over them at different parts of the dance. I'm all for the arts, but this was beyond me. It did look, however, that the guy signed up for the class not because of a great ambition to be a dancer, but because he had a great guy to girl ratio in the class. Why did Willie Sutton rob banks? That's where the money is . . .

We also saw the tent pictured below:

It's the "Interior Democrats." I'm not sure if that's a psychological term describing that I might have an "Interior Democrat" like I might have an "Inner Child," but whatever the case, from the dearth of people at the booth, it looked for all the world like the "Interior Democrats" were giving away plague, or maybe cooties. A lonely booth in a crowded mall. Gotta give 'em credit for being spunky, though.

This Saga to be Completed in Part II: Revenge of The Carnival Ride