"Just a statue? Is the Statue of Liberty just a statue? Is the Leaning Tower of Pizza just a statue?" - Homer, The Simpsons

So, in Alaska you build ice towers to your heart's content. No permit required. And what would your homeowner's association say?? Click on the picture for bigger ice goodness.

Christmas this year was fun. The Mrs. got what she wanted (Star Wars – Battlefront, Command and Conquer – Generals) and The New Boy got his baby cage play pen. The Boy got his radio-controlled car (expected life span with a five year old – two weeks). We got by with only one Christmas mishap – the tree fell right over while the booty underneath was being doled out. This was a small hardship, and we used a small chainsaw to cut it up and toss it straightaway into the fire. Since it was artificial, well, we’ve still got the metal post that needs to be taken care of. I’m also not very happy with the fire retardant limbs. I had to take a propane torch to those to make them burn.


The Boy, weeping bitter tears at the thought that the falling Christmas tree had killed a Yoda or something.

Okay, okay, I didn’t burn the tree. But I do have a project next year to make it stand up.

My Christmas haul? I got some nice gloves and various tools for the projects around the house.

I’ve noticed as the days grow shorter and colder I get a particular itch to do projects inside, thus the tools are a very appropriate gift. I suppose that my itch to do projects is related to having an anchor The New Boy around, since a baby doesn’t mix well with mushing, skiing, snow-machining, or most outdoor stuff at –10F. So, I do projects. Bizarre projects, sure, like making my own tire chains for The Coveted John Deere Snow-Blower Attachment (Some Assembly Required) and bookcases that tilt like they were custom built for the side of a mountain.

As much as I enjoy my own projects and their inherent oddity, I have project envy.

In Alaska, one of the most daunting things to any exterior construction project in the winter is the cold. A gentleman up in Fox, which is just north of Fairbanks, has figured out a way to use the cold temperatures to his advantage. He’s putting up ice towers. Not one, but two.

Last year’s version of the ice tower was over 140’ in height when it finally succumbed to gravity poisoning in spring, splashing ice boulders over the landscape. The solution? Build two ice towers this year.

Why two towers? I have no idea why you’d want one ice tower.


The more colorful of the two ice towers. The red and green make a nice Christmas mix. On a huge friggin' block of ice. You can click on it for the larger version.

The local ice-climbing club (yes, we have one of those) carries pipe segments up the jagged ice tower, and puts dye into the water so the tower becomes colorful as it becomes taller. Last year the owner described that ice tower as the largest man made structure of ice, so now he’ll have The Two Towers. I guess that means that next year we’ll get Return of the King?

Anyhow, hobbits aside, he also lives in a house with wheels, and has constructed a large geodesic dome near the tower site. Alaska, though, is perfect for people like this, who wish to conduct marginally strange and slightly dangerous projects merely because they want to do them. There’s no building code that prevents it, and if he wants to (by his count) spend several thousand dollars doing all this, well, why not? We all know how this will end . . . with gravity and temperature finally taking the towers down. But, dang, it’s neat.


A geodesic dome near the towers. Again, the question "Why?" may well be answered by, "It's Alaska." You can click on it for larger domey goodness.

Which brings me to the envy part. My Christmas tree fell down, and this guy is building multi-ton ice fingers pointed at the sky. I’ll guess I’ll go back to building my tilty bookcases.