"This is the story of the last of the Babylon stations. The year is 2259. The name of the place is Babylon 5." - Capt. John Sheridan, Babylon 5

Skinny Dick's. I had to throw this one up again. It cracks me up.

Well, it’s the last day of the year. So much has gone on during the year, I thought it would be nice to give a set of highlights from the year. So, enjoy. You deserve it. Happy New Year. Oh, and I’ve got a real post tomorrow. Perhaps my best one ever – it has Nobel Prize for Literature, MacArthur Fellows Program, and Pulitzer Prize for Stuff written all over it. But I’ll erase all that before I post it. I read it to The Mrs., and milk shot out her nose. And she doesn’t drink milk.

Well, we’ll rewind. Here’s 2005, Life In Alaska Style

January
Life In Alaska founded. Temperature –55F in Fairbanks. Air freezes.

February
I start cutting wood at our house. Because we’re freezing. We go to the Fairbanks Ice Festival, and see that ice has a use other than cooling beer, skating, and tea.


I love the detail on this one. Click on it for a larger version. I'm also very worried about the mind that thought it up.

March
I launch an expedition across the Isthmus of Panama, and discover the Pacific Ocean on the other side. Still no gold.

April
The Mrs. enters her 75th 8th month of pregnancy.


Denali is very large. Larger even than the temper The Mrs. displayed during month 8.

May
The New Boy joins us. The Mrs. postpones sleep until 2009, and I am informed that I have a four year contract extension from my current 2019 until 2023. After that I go on a series of one year contracts.

June
100 days of daylight begin. Winter ends, which I can tell because stuff stops freezing.


Get me the Nobel or the MacArthur Fellow Thingy or I'll kill this car. Actually, July is the only month I wash mine. The rest of the year it's too frozen or too muddy.

July
I gather copious amounts of wood to help stave off the looming problem of global wooding. We must stop the forest!

August
Alaska celebrates first full month of winter.


The pile that you see above isn't sticks. It's real. It's wood. It's also my attempt to pump carbon back into the atmosphere to stop Global Cooling.

September
I sneak drilling rigs into ANWR, begin pumping sweet, sweet oil.

October
The President of Taiwan sues The Boy for a peace treaty. The Mrs. becomes embroiled in scandal when The Boy (aided by the ACLU) issues grave charges against The Mrs., alleging that, “She won’t let me watch what I wanna watch on TV.”


So, pictured above is Gregg Rolie. He's the singer for The Gregg Rolie band. Just thought I'd throw that in there. Met him. He was nice.

November
Donald Rumsfeld asks The Mrs. to bring peace to Iraq after seeing her put the smackdown on The Boy and the ACLU.

December
Vote to allow drilling in ANWR goes badly. I'll sneak my drilling rig out one night. Which gives me ninety or so days.


Yeah, I know, douse yourselves in the irony. I'm sure they used biodegradable spray paint.