Stop The Moose!

Took the picture above a few miles outside of Fairbanks. My opinion is that this sign should probably be repeated on every road, every mile. Why?

Alaska is crawling with moose. They threaten to overwhelm (or at least whelm) all of us. I was driving in downtown Fairbanks on the way back from the doctor's office with The Mrs. On the busiest street in Fairbanks, a cow moose was waltzing her way back toward the woods. Not even in a hurry. This was around 1pm, so traffic was fairly busy. There was nigh a moose crossing sign in sight, so I was wondering if this particular moose was illiterate or just plain rude. I think most moose are pretty crafty, so I'm betting that she was just rude.

As the snow melted in my backyard (more global averaging, no doubt) I found moose, umm, "gifts" everywhere. These moose have no shame! There's a bathroom down the road at the gas station.

So, my list of reasons to Stop The Moose:

• They don't respect private property or no trespassing signs
• They camp and sleep on public lands without paying fees
• They leave their waste products everywhere
• I haven't seen a new episode of Bullwinkle in a long time - someone needs to pay
• Not a single one of them has auto liability insurance
• Many of them mistakenly voted for Pat Buchanan in the 2000 election
• They never offer to pay for beer when you're hanging out with them on Friday night
  

These moose have got to be stopped. Our children are at stake here! (Please don't ask me to defend the previous statement. Whenever I see some sort of illogical rant for someone to do something that has no other merit, people "trot out the kids," to quote The Mrs. and if you argue with them, it's because you hate kids. So, be warned, if you disagree on my moose-stamping-out proposal, it means that you don't love your wee infant.)

Also, out driving, saw this:

Okay, I'll admit I had to tweak the contrast on this one, and enlarge it, etc., but no digital camera is quite as good as the human eye. If you squint, you can see that this is the basis for Gorbachev's tattoo.